Bundles of joy
2003-09-16 ~ 8:44 a.m.

So much is going to happen to me next year.

First, my parents are in the process of moving to Europe, so D. and I will be heading over there sometime next year to travel around and see the sights. I lived there for 7 years, but there was a lot that I missed that I'm looking forward to seeing.

Second, we'll be trying to get pregnant sometime after said trip. That's the big one, folks. I always thought I wasn't going to have any, but D. is the only person I would consider doing it with. I know he'll make a fantastic father.

But....

I have serious doubts about this parenthood thing. I watch people with their little whiny, bratty, snotty, screaming bundles of joy and I think - no way, I couldn't do it. Everyone says it's different when they're yours (a lie, according to a friend with two kids), but still. There's so much you need to give up when you have them. You can't go where you want without bringing two bags of crap and a stroller. You can't do anything at the last second. Sleep? Forget about it. Squeamish? Better get used to it, cause I firmly believe that more comes out of those things than goes in, and what does come out could choke an elephant.

I'm still in a selfish phase. I don't want to give up the essence of me. The thought of someone being the absolute centre of my life (well, D. is now, but he doesn't need me to wipe his ass....*shudders*), to the exclusion of all else, is really scary. I don't know how some people do it.

Maybe all this will be moot by then. Maybe when the baby comes, I'll be a natural at it. Maybe it'll be the best thing that I've done with my life. I know I want to do it.....but I still have doubts.

Is anyone ever really ready to have a child?

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